bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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