I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You did what with his pubic hair?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
