You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
