i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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