Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
