Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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