Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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