Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
