no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
