Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
