are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
