I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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