Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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