STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
