The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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