I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
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