bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
