her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
