Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I see more hoeing in ur future
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