What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
