Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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