I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
