put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
