Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
