Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
birth control should be required to get into college
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
