too bad you live with your parents still
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
