he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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