return my video game
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
