i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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