i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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