i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering