Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.