i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
