Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.