It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
