Please, let me fuck your mom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
