Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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