Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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