Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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