I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
