The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize