at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize