My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
