I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
