wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
