is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
