Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
