she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
organizing the empties. That sober.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
