Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
