The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
