If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
