Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
