Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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