Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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