So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
