Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
