If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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