after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
