I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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