I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The adults are the big ones right?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
