WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
even my farts smell like vagina
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
