omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize